My kids have been driving me nuts. I know, join the club right. The fighting and bickering were starting to wear me down. Nothing seems to be working. I’ve found myself losing my cool, a lot! I was yelling at the kids and I didn’t like it.
One evening, after an especially trying day I had enough. We were coming home from the park and my daughter had a complete meltdown. She screamed and yelled for the entire walk home. I had to practically drag her up the street.
I felt angry,frustrated,embarrassed and completely drained. Once we got home, the kids were crying and supper was a complete disaster. More screaming and yelling from me and the kids.
Once the dust settled and the kids had gone to bed, I vowed to try something else.
Yelling wasn’t working. The only thing yelling would do is cause more yelling. The kids would get more upset and in turn so would I. Sometimes I would hear the kids yelling at each other. I hate to admit it but their words had an all too familiar ring.
That was it, I decided to try a new and more radical approach. I was going to stop yelling. Sounds simple right? Let me be the first to tell you that it`s easier said than done.
I was hesitant about my decision, but decided it was worth a try. The next morning the kids were acting up again. My daughter was having a fit and refusing to put on her socks, while my son kept running around the house screaming as he attempted to evade his morning diaper change.
I could already feel myself getting heated. We were running late and I needed to get everyone dressed and out of the house. I was tempted to yell at them but held back. I gave them each a warning and let them know that a punishment was emanate.
My son came back to the change table and my daughter called my bluff. I marched her into the bedroom and left her there to cool off. I told her that she couldn’t come out until she was calm. No yelling just a firm tone of voice. She wasn’t happy, but after about 7 minutes she calmed down and politely asked for help with her socks.
I was shocked, what just happened? My kids actually listened without me having to raise my voice. This must be some-type of fluke or maybe some beginners luck.
The funny thing is that it kept working. When I kept my cool, things seemed to run smoother. Time outs were more effective and meal time was less of a chore. I didn’t have to repeat myself as often and I was starting to feel less anxious.
The kids really seemed to respond to this new approach. Things have gotten better. I’m not going to tell you that my kids have been perfect, that would be a lie. I’ve lost my cool a couple of times, but nothing like before. Did I yell at my son when he ran out of the garage and headed towards the street? You better believe I did!
I got scared and I panicked, I am only human. So far I have survived 10 days of no yelling and it is getting easier. This morning, my son decided to taste the bulb from his night-light. That one took some self restraint, but I have learned to take a step back and breathe.
Kids will be kids and doing crazy stuff is part of growing up. I have learned that I can still discipline my children,without out feelings of guilt and regret.
Motherhood can be stressful at times but it doesn’t have to be all the time.