The cynical crayon

I'm Cynical,mostly facetious,always bespectacled & hilarious. This where I chronicle the trials and tribulations of life as a stay at home mom.

OK lets not oversell, my friends think that I'm funny; Is that like having your mom say you're pretty?

Questions? drop me a line: cynicalcrayon@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter @cynicalcrayon
Posts tagged "fatherhood"
In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

- Bill Cosby, Fatherhood

R.I.P old friend…

R.I.P old friend…

Thank God for my loving husband, who has been taking care of us this holiday season. With two sick kids and a sick wife, he has been our rock.

He is literally the last man standing in this house filled with sickies. 

If that weren’t enough he has been running all the errands and doing the last minute Christmas shopping. My wonderful husband took care of the kids this morning and let me sleep in, until 11am !!!

I love you so much and thanks again.

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This is my dance. I hope you like it; If not that’s too bad. Its the only dance I know.
My 4 1/2 year old daughter’s announcement moments before she performed her dance routine. 

"Be a dad. Don’t be ‘Mom’s assistant.’ That’s depressing, just waiting for her to write you a list, walk around a store staring at it, calling her from the cereal aisle to make sure you got the right thing. Be a man. Make your own list. Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a 4-year-old? Take it on. Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won’t take away your manhood; it will give it to you. I did that. I spent more time with my kids. And I found out that I’m a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don’t know what I’m doing. But my kids love me. Go figure." —Louis C.K., comedian

What feeling is so nice as a child’s hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.

Marjorie Holmes

Who needs Superman when you have a father?

Who needs Superman when you have a father?

Three generations out for a stroll.

Happy Father’s day everyone! 

Pssssst….Hey you! Yeah you! The one in the park with your children running wild. One kid about to run into the busy street. Another on the verge of a swan dive, off the jungle gym. 

May I offer you a piece of unsolicited advice?

Put down your damn phone,book,magazine or any other handheld distraction. Keep an eye on your kids!!!! The park is a safe place, when there is appropriate supervision.  When your kids are acting crazy it makes it hard for other people to enjoy themselves. Kids have lots of energy and the park is a great place to expend it. 

You know what the park isn’t good for? Its not a good place for children under the age of 4 to play unsupervised. Children are innocent creatures capable of just about anything. They have limitless imaginations. You read your child a story about birds and they start flapping their arms. Next thing you know your kid thinks they can fly.

This why the park is not the place to take a mental vacation. This not the place to catch up on email, read your twitter feed, play angry birds or use your ipad. 

When your 14 month old is about to face plant off the slide, you shouldn’t be on your phone. I take my kids to the park to have fun and it’s MY responsibility to ensure their safety.

There is an old African proverb that says it takes a village to raise a child.  I agree with this statement wholeheartedly. Neighbourhood parks instil a sense of community. We see our friends and neighbours and we all want to have a good time. We look out for one another.  

I have two kids and there is only one of me. Maybe my daughter wants to swing and my son wants to go on the slide. I split my time between the two activities so that I can keep an eye on both of them. This involves lots of running around and some multitasking but I get it done. When we go to the park in groups, we make sure that one of us has some type of visual on the kids. 

When I see your child doing something dangerous I have to act. As a mother and human being. I am not going to stand by and watch your kid get hurt. That being said I shouldn’t have to babysit your child when you are in the park! 

Hang up the phone or put the book down. Your kids deserve better.

Don’t turn a blind eye when your child is terrorizing other children. Parents you know the kid I’m talking about. They are cursing ,throwing sand at other kids or stealing toys. Discipline your children. You aren’t doing them any favours by teaching them to be egocentric little hoodlums. Truth be told, sometimes my son is that unruly kid. At age 2 1/2 he isn’t always on his best behaviour.

That being said, I have no problem with finding a quiet spot in the park and administering a time-out. He needs to know that type of behaviour is unacceptable. 

Parents! Get off your ass and get your hands dirty. Play in the sandbox and go kick a ball. Don’t promise to take your child to the park unless you plan on going…. Body & mind.

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Originally posted April 18,2012

My kids have been up since 6:30am. They “claim” they are hungry but are eating at a snails pace. We are now closing in on 7:54am and my daughter still hasn’t finished breakfast yet. My son wolfed down his food and is playing with his toys.

All I gave her was 1 piece of toast with Peanut-butter some apple slices,1 glass of milk and a chewable vitamin D.

Aaarrggghhhh! Why won’t she just eat?