The cynical crayon

I'm Cynical,mostly facetious,always bespectacled & hilarious. This where I chronicle the trials and tribulations of life as a stay at home mom.

OK lets not oversell, my friends think that I'm funny; Is that like having your mom say you're pretty?

Questions? drop me a line: or follow me on Twitter @cynicalcrayon
Posts tagged "humour"
I have a stepladder. It’s a very nice stepladder but it’s sad that I never knew my real
ladder. — Craig Charles
My little excursion to the dollar store got me thinking… I’ve always found the concept of gift cards to be curious. Instead of just giving someone money, the idea is that you are giving them money in a classier way.  

Somehow we have become brainwashed. When did we start  believing that gift cards are are better than cold hard cash. Who doesn’t like money? Get a card and stuff it full of dough.  Who gives a shit about gift cards? I have friends who say “cash is so impersonal” and somehow a gift card isn’t? 

Most people have at least 2 or 3 gift cards floating around. You have a few in your wallet and maybe another one stuck to the fridge. Plus the one for coffee in your desk at work.
Let’s not forget the random assortment of partially used gift cards. They all have some money on them; but you are too lazy to call the number on the back. Who wants to punch in all those numbers. I don’t want to fill my wallet with a bunch of gift cards worth $5.

Another problem I have with gift cards is that I forget to bring them. I go to the movies and then I realise that the movie gift card is on the kitchen counter. Worse yet I can’t find the cards I do carry around. The reason being they are buried in what can only be described as the female equivalent of the George Costanza wallet.

The gig is up people.  9/10 times when people get gift cards they are not thinking that you racked your brain and agonized over their gift.  

News flash! Most people are acutely aware that you just got them something because :
A) You had no idea what to get
B) You didn’t want to show up empty handed
C) You had some rewards points saved up that you had to use.
D) You re-gifted one because you had no plans on ever shopping at that store anyway.

Some people really like gift cards. My friend loves them because she can spend them on anything and not feel guilty. Whereas cash makes her feel like she should do the responsible thing and pay some bills.

I still believe that the convenience of currency is a far better gift. Going to the ATM takes just as much effort as purchasing a gift card.

Gift cards come with restrictions and time limits. Imagine if the bank of Canada gave you money; Then told you that you have to spend it within 6 months of its issue date.
If you did not agree to these terms it would reduce in monetary value by 2 dollars a month. Then once  the value had diminished to zero you were out of luck? 

Now I am the first to admit that I have given gift cards in the past. Tsk tsk tsk shame on me… From now on I will try my best to break the cycle.

No more gift cards! Unless the person in question really likes them.
I can promise you this. Any gift card from me will not come from the dollar store.    :)
gift cards

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. ~ Dave Barry

Can you imagine a store with bargain-basement prices selling merchandise made of inferior quality? Yet there are throngs of people lining up to buy it.

The dollar store is a weird place. Everything in the store is cheap and there are rows and rows of crappy merchandise available for purchase.  Certain items are on par with the quality you can find in other stores, but you can get them for less. Other things are just so laughably pitiful that you have to wonder, who in the hell buy this crap?

Going to the the dollar store is like taking a shit. Everybody does it , but nobody talks about it. There is a strange sense of shame associated with shopping there. I know people who used to bring their own bags way before it was the fashionable or the Eco-friendly thing to do. The reason being they didn’t want people knowing that they shopped there. I shop there from time to time and I am not ashamed to admit it.

I went to to Dollar store today and I spotted a curious item. Next to the playing cards and cigarette lighters I saw gift cards. Many stores carry gift cards to other establishments, but these were gift cards to the actual dollar store.

Why would you give someone a gift card to the dollar store?  Nowadays you can get gift cards from every single store, but the dollar store really?  What exactly goes through your head when you choose to give someone a gift card to the dollar store?

The most bizarre thing about these gift cards are the amounts. They came in $10, $25, & $50!!!! Nobody wants a $50 gift card to the dollar store; If someone gave me a $50 gift card to the dollar store I would feel as I was being punished.

Clearly this a way to torment me. I don’t want $50 worth of crap in my house. This is akin to taking money and lighting it a blaze. Only an idiot would waste money like that. 

Maybe this is something you do as a gag?  The person opens the gift and everybody has a good laugh. You don’t actually put money on it.  Then you give them the real present. A simple harmless joke. 

Otherwise a gift card to the dollar store is never a good idea. Period!

$ store

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