The cynical crayon

I'm Cynical,mostly facetious,always bespectacled & hilarious. This where I chronicle the trials and tribulations of life as a stay at home mom.

OK lets not oversell, my friends think that I'm funny; Is that like having your mom say you're pretty?

Questions? drop me a line: or follow me on Twitter @cynicalcrayon
Posts tagged "mother"

Hello new followers & old ones alike :) Many of you have asked what I look like or why I don’t show my face. The simple fact is it just didn’t seem important.   

I’m not disfigured or horrible looking. I’m just regular. I probably won’t be gracing any magazine covers and that’s OK. I am happy with my appearance.  Some may think I’m cute other people might not. That’s the way life goes. 

I follow lots of blogs for a variety of reasons.  I like hearing about different peoples lives and points of view.  Some blogs make me laugh and some make me think.  Some people post great photographs and others share delicious recipes. There are also some truly gifted writers out there.

No matter the reason I have never followed a blog because of the persons appearance. Knowing what I look like or what my kids look like shouldn’t matter. I appreciate all who follow me but don’t expect to see my face.

Perhaps I won’t have as many followers or get Tumblr famous but I don’t mind.  Sometimes a bit of mystery can be a good thing.

So this is what I look like in stripes holding a camera ;)

1st day of Pre-School, My daughter drew a rainbow. I have cleared off some space on the fridge to display her artwork :) 

The interesting thing about being a mother is that everyone wants pets, but no one but me cleans the kitty litter.
Meryl Streep
I must admit I’ve had a few close calls ;0)

I must admit I’ve had a few close calls ;0)

People makers :P

Motherhood, no shit!

Motherhood, no shit!

Every now and then I get a good idea. An idea so fantastic that it can’t fail. Today was supposed to be one of those days. The weather has been quite hot and the kids are starting to get restless. Correction annoying, really, really annoying.

I’m not sure if it’s the heat, full moon or zombie apocalypse; but my kids have been fighting non-stop. My husband is home on vacation and I feel bad for him. This is supposed to be a relaxing break from his job.  

The way the kids have been acting he probably wants to go back to work. All of the screaming and crying is driving us to the brink. All I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs SHUT the F@%k UP !!!!!!

Obviously I can’t do that so I came up with my “good idea” …

The idea was that a change of scenery would help the kids. Maybe they were getting stir crazy. I decided to take the family to the splash park. My logic was sound. We have a backyard pool and the kids love the water…Well most of the time.

The kids woke up from their nap and we told them we had a surprise. So we hopped in the car and off we went. The location was a short drive from the house. The kids were excited, asking tons of questions and couldn’t wait to get there.

Then we got there….

The kids saw all the fountains and the water. They couldn’t get out of the car fat enough. We got everyone changed and off we went. There were lots of children laughing and playing. Everyone was having a great time…except for us.

My daughter approached the park with apprehension. She worked up the courage to enter; Then proceeded to avoided the water like the plague. My son allowed one drop of water to touch him before making a hasty retreat.

What the hell is going on here? Why am I roasting in the hot sun ? Here I am at a splash park with two stubborn children that won’t get wet. This is not the way I had pictured things. I had imagined happy children enjoying the water. Lots of splashing,laughing and smiling faces.

I was hoping for two sleepy kids, worn out and exhausted from a day out. Happy kids napping on the car ride home.

Instead I spend the afternoon with two surly toddlers. I managed to get my daughter in one of the fountains, she enjoyed it for about 4 minutes. My son got his feet wet and ran out. My husband and I gave up. We left the splash park and went to the regular sand and swing park next door.

The kids really enjoyed the regular park. I on the other hand  was disappointed, I wanted the day to be so much fun. I thought I was opening them up to a new experience. Turns out the old one was just fine. I guess I need to lower my expectations, maybe the splash park was more about me than them.

Perhaps I was the one in need of a change of scenery; When all the kids needed was a more relaxed mommy and daddy to play with.

A mother is….

A mother is….

A Mother’s Love

A Mother’s Love