The cynical crayon
OK lets not oversell, my friends think that I'm funny; Is that like having your mom say you're pretty?
Questions? drop me a line: cynicalcrayon@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter @cynicalcrayon
My daughter loves to sing and dance. Ever since she was a baby I would sing to her and we would dance around the house. When she was younger we would listen to lots of kids songs.
After awhile I got fed up with all the crappy music and started playing songs that I like. I love the Beatles and I decided to teach her the words to Yesterday. We started off slowly and then she just took to it. This MP3 is my daughter singing one of our favourite songs.
I am so proud of her and when I listen to this it always makes me smile. My son likes music too and I can’t wait to see what songs he will sing.
- Don’t drink the bath water
- Don’t lick the tub
- Don’t eat the bubbles
- Please keep the water in the tub
- You can’t put the soap up there
- If you pee in the tub I have to wash you again.
- Don’t poop in the shower!
- You can’t bring toilet paper in the bathtub
- Stop hoarding all the bath toys!
- You can’t keep the bubbles away from your sister
- Yes we have to wash your hair again.
- That isn’t a spider in the tub its a piece of your hair
- Stop chewing on your Rubber ducky
- Sucking the water out of the wash-cloth is the same as drinking it.
- Stop chewing the foam letters
- Please don’t lick the soap
- Don’t stick your fingers in the Jacuzzi jets
- Please move over, your bum is blocking the water from going down the drain
Flowers for my Mama, she liked them but prefers Tulips she can grow in her own garden. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts.
Also check out the beautiful Roses my brother got my Mom. They put my little yellow Tulips to shame. Thanks a lot bro! She liked them too but still prefers something she can plant in her garden.
Note to self: Next year get Mom a potted plant.
My Mother’s day gift! My daughter painted this mug at one those DIY pottery places. We sat down together and created this masterpiece. I’ll probably never drink from it, but I will always cherish it.
Happy Mothers day everyone!
Pssssst….Hey you! Yeah you! The one in the park with your children running wild. One kid about to run into the busy street. Another on the verge of a swan dive, off the jungle gym.
May I offer you a piece of unsolicited advice?
Put down your damn phone,book,magazine or any other handheld distraction. Keep an eye on your kids!!!! The park is a safe place, when there is appropriate supervision. When your kids are acting crazy it makes it hard for other people to enjoy themselves. Kids have lots of energy and the park is a great place to expend it.
You know what the park isn’t good for? Its not a good place for children under the age of 4 to play unsupervised. Children are innocent creatures capable of just about anything. They have limitless imaginations. You read your child a story about birds and they start flapping their arms. Next thing you know your kid thinks they can fly.
This why the park is not the place to take a mental vacation. This not the place to catch up on email, read your twitter feed, play angry birds or use your ipad.
When your 14 month old is about to face plant off the slide, you shouldn’t be on your phone. I take my kids to the park to have fun and it’s MY responsibility to ensure their safety.
There is an old African proverb that says it takes a village to raise a child. I agree with this statement wholeheartedly. Neighbourhood parks instil a sense of community. We see our friends and neighbours and we all want to have a good time. We look out for one another.
I have two kids and there is only one of me. Maybe my daughter wants to swing and my son wants to go on the slide. I split my time between the two activities so that I can keep an eye on both of them. This involves lots of running around and some multitasking but I get it done. When we go to the park in groups, we make sure that one of us has some type of visual on the kids.
When I see your child doing something dangerous I have to act. As a mother and human being. I am not going to stand by and watch your kid get hurt. That being said I shouldn’t have to babysit your child when you are in the park!
Hang up the phone or put the book down. Your kids deserve better.
Don’t turn a blind eye when your child is terrorizing other children. Parents you know the kid I’m talking about. They are cursing ,throwing sand at other kids or stealing toys. Discipline your children. You aren’t doing them any favours by teaching them to be egocentric little hoodlums. Truth be told, sometimes my son is that unruly kid. At age 2 1/2 he isn’t always on his best behaviour.
That being said, I have no problem with finding a quiet spot in the park and administering a time-out. He needs to know that type of behaviour is unacceptable.
Parents! Get off your ass and get your hands dirty. Play in the sandbox and go kick a ball. Don’t promise to take your child to the park unless you plan on going…. Body & mind.
Originally posted April 18,2012
Today my son was watching Diego with the kids and I heard a familiar voice. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it and then it hit me. Rosie Perez is the voice of Click La camera!
Holy shit! I had to Google it to be sure, but its really her. I had always wondered what happened to her. She was great in the do the right thing and I loved her in White Men Can’t Jump. Now I get to hear her in a kids cartoon.
This little tidbit has made my day. I knew there was a reason why I liked Diego more than Dora. Now why didn’t anyone tell me this sooner?
My son has decided that instead of eating his supper, he would “paint” his legs with Ketchup.
Not to be outdone, my daughter has decided that spilling her milk all over the kitchen floor would be the perfect way to compliment my sons paint job.
Kids 1 Mom 0
My period has come today, I really wish it would go away.
The cramping,bloating and feeling like shit. I’m really truly over it.
Tampons,pads,the diva cup or anything else they can whip up.
None of which addresses the fact; That every month I re-enact, a terrible version of Ground hogs day. Where I feel like Aunt flow has come to stay, for a really long and difficult visit. At in the end of which I feel exquisite!
Crimson,Scarlet,Vermilion,Red! My favourite colour I won’t pretend, unless I see it down below. Then it simply has to go!
One good thing about menstruation, that gives me a reason for celebration is one plain and simple fact. I can still have babies and there Ain’t nothing wrong with that!
My kids have been up since 6:30am. They “claim” they are hungry but are eating at a snails pace. We are now closing in on 7:54am and my daughter still hasn’t finished breakfast yet. My son wolfed down his food and is playing with his toys.
All I gave her was 1 piece of toast with Peanut-butter some apple slices,1 glass of milk and a chewable vitamin D.
Aaarrggghhhh! Why won’t she just eat?
The toddlers creed
